Sarah Says..

Call me

2006-05-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Long time no calls. Call me.
002 0122844982

My Number

2006-05-03T21:00:00.000-08:00

I decided to take it to the other step. Here is my mobile number 0122844982
CALL ME. SMS and I give you my home number. So LONG.

TICK TOCK

2006-04-18T02:45:00.001-08:00

Waiting and Anticipating..

2006-04-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

You better believe I’m coming
You better believe what I say
You better hold on to your promises
Because you bet, you’ll get what you deserve
She’s going to leave him over
She’s gonna take her love away
So much for your eternal vows, well
It does not matter anyway

Why can’t you stay here awhile
Stay here awhile
Stay with me

Oh, all the promises we made
All the meaningless and empty words
I prayed, prayed, prayed
Oh, all the promises we broke
All the meaningless and empty words
I spoke, spoke, spoke

Do-do-do, do-do-do,
Do-do-do, do-do-do

What of all the things that you taught me
What of all the things that you’d say
What of all your prophetic preaching
You’re just throwing it all away
Maybe we should burn the house down
Have ourselves another fight
Leave the cobwebs in the closet
’cos tearing them out is just not right

Why can’t you stay here awhile
Stay here awhile
Stay with me, oh oh

Promises - Cranberries

Lost and Found

2006-04-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

Well today I started the day with me not very much in the mood for getting back to work. I was not very much enthusiastic about it and me not getting much sleep didn’t help either.

Today I lost my cell phone in the mini-van on my way to work of course after discovering that I felt that there is no chance in hell of me getting it back. But I was wrong a very simple and honest man found it and at exactly 04.30 I got my phone back not even allowing me to say proper thank you he just gave it back and left.

It is true when you feel people are the meanest and the cruelest they surprise the hell out of you... Today was a living prove... Thank you Mr. N for being my reminder today.

My New Space

2006-04-09T23:58:00.000-08:00

Check out my new space.

The Lord of The Rings Trilogy

2006-04-09T01:07:00.000-08:00

"One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

I bet anyone who was watching MBC2 would remember these words. Peter Jackson's trilogy The Lord of the Rings has been showing on MBC2 for two weeks now. It is a kind of a movie that takes you on a journy of its own.
I always loved The Lord of the Rings and enjoyed watching it. It is a great tale so full of great moments, dark, courage, unity and courage. I have made a bit of a little thing about my very favorite characters in 'The Lord of the Ring trilogy". They are a bit unusual choices but hey what can I do..

Aragorm:

My favourite actor ever and character as well, Aragorm Aka Strider, a descendant of the lost line of the ancient kings of Men, Aragorn is fated to one day claim the empty throne of Gondor. Aragorn is a mighty warrior, wielding his blade with great adeptness in defense of Helm’s Deep. He fights with passion and bravery, but also with wisdom, which earns him the respect and admiration of Théoden, King of the Rohirrim. In The Return of the King, he will face several challenges that will determine the fate of Middle-earth. He is passionate and a faithful lover of the only daughter of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, Arwen is said to be the most beautiful of all living beings in Middle-earth. Born to an immortal life as an Elf, Arwen must chose between it or to forsake this everlasting existence for the love of the mortal Aragorn. In so doing, she dooms herself to die as a Human.

Legolas Greenleaf:

This one is the quiet kind of character, what I like most about him is his silence. His actions is the only speaking factor. Legolas son of the Elvenking of Mirkwood, was selected to represent the Elves in the Fellowship of the Ring. His endurance, keen sight, and fighting skills were of great help on the quest, but his loyalty and friendship were even greater assets to his companions. A Prince of the Elven Kingdom of Mirkwood, Legolas joined the Fellowship of the Ring as a representative of his people. Legolas possesses the keen eyesight and sharp ears characteristic of his race

Gollum:

In spite being evil, i really feel for Gollum and his inner struggle through out the trilogy. His agony shows in his big blue eyes and makes you just want to comfort him. Though once a Hobbit, Gollum’s 500 years in possession of the Ring has deformed his body and warped his mind. Tortured and wrought wretched by the lure of the One Ring, Gollum is a withered, piteous creature. Driven mad and twisted by his loss of the One Ring decades ago, he is compelled to haunt Middle-earth, searching everywhere for the only thing in the world he ever cared for, his “precious”. When the Fellowship is broken, Gollum tries to steal the Ring from Frodo and Sam in The Two Towers, but ends up being their unlikely guide into Mordor. He is leading them into a trap so he can reclaim the One Ring for himself.

The 3-Day Vacation

2006-04-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

Oh yes the end of the week and the beginning of a needed 3 days vacation. I intend to rest and rest and just rest. Oh yeah it has been a while since I craved for rest like that.

A lot of good things happened this week, my dead lines were met and things went much better than I expected a lot of satisfied people that compensated me for the not so satisfied ones.

I am also done with El Azhar Park, yes I have been tutoring there for park employees and now I am done. Listening to the park employee's requesting me for their next level was pretty rewarding. I am not so bad after all :)
Thing have changed and a lot has happened and I am tired but not the normal kind of tired, tired and hoping in a while I haven’t been like that.

A glimpse into my mood

2006-04-04T01:40:00.000-08:00

Die, die, die my darling
Don’t utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty eyes
I’ll be seeing you again
Yeah, I’ll be seeing you, in hell

So don’t cry to me oh baby
Your future’s in an oblong box
Don’t cry to me oh baby
You should have seen it a-coming on
Don’t cry to me oh baby
I don’t know it was in your card
Don’t cry to me oh baby
Dead-end soul for a dead-end girl
Don’t cry to me oh baby
And now your life drains on the floor
Don’t cry to me oh baby

Die, die, die my darling
Don’t utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Shut your pretty mouth
I’ll be seeing you again
I’ll be seeing you, in hell
Die-die-die
Die-die-die
Die-die-die

Die die my darling – Metalica

Did the rain lose its meaning Or I did?

2006-03-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

Somewhere during 1990:

Location: A garden near my grandparents place and it pouring with everything wet and the grass of the garden washed clean.

Dad: Sarah, get in here..

*Met by pure silence*

Dad: Sarah I am not kidding, c’mon.

He turned around in the garden to find me tying a rope around tree and going around in circles singing while being soaked wet by the rain.

Dad: Sarah what are you doing? Do you want to be sick? it is raining you know you shouldn’t be outside.

Me: Why Daddy? I like the rain. The sky wants to clean everything up and so it is washes everything, see. Even me.

Dad: C’mon you shouldn’t be out in the rain you know that.

Me: But I like it, it makes me happy.

Dad: C’mon on it can make you happy behind the window.

Friday the 31^st of March, 2006.

Location: Behind a window in our place, looking at the pouring rain that has been going for an hour or something.

Dad: It is raining like hell, isn’t it?

Me: Yep, pouring.

Dad: Washing away everything, you used to like playing in the rain while you were a kid. Remember?

Me: Yeah.

Dad: I am glad to see you are only watching this time.. It gives some people a sense of peace, I guess. I like it too.

Yes, the rain used to make me happy; it gave me a sense of washing away everything that is not okay, a sense of a new clean start, a fresh slate. A beginning that have nothing to do with all what went wrong or anything that just didn’t go our way. I used to like the smell of the air after it rains so clean and fresh and the people extremely quiet trying to get to places without being muddy.

But now, the rain just makes me sad, I feel it is taking everything away with it, it is not about beginnings, just endings. Things are washed away leaving us bare and naked without anything to count on. Just standing alone watching the water running through the cracked slips of the road.

I still watch it rains but boy I do miss my silver lining in seeing things, this little girl in the garden that the rain just makes her happy.

Sighs* I just do not know, I guess we all grow up someday

Keep those fingers crossed..

2006-03-28T11:48:00.000-08:00

Here I am mid week, a lot of things happening but what really categories this week is DEADLINES I have more than one this week actually I have three. I would feel extremely good about myself if I managed to keep them it would mean a lot. So keep those fingers crossed and wish me luck.

The beginning of the week was muddy and rainy, it caused traffic crisis yesterday causing me to go home at 11.45 which is extremely late and it seems that winter didn’t quiet pack its bags yet?? I thought summer was here but it seems not yet.

Anyway I leave you with this which is quiet existing in my week..

What do I do now? said the wise man to the fool,
I have spent my whole life searching, to find the golden rule,
Though centuries have disappeared, the memory still remains
Of those enemies together, could it be that way again?

Then the fool said oh you wise men, you really make me laugh,
With your talk of vast persuasion and searching through the past,
There is only greed and evil in the men that fight today,
The song of the crusader has long since gone away.

WHAT THE HELL FOR???

2006-03-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

Today was an outdoor day spending the entire day outside and I was very busy chasing my own tail through out the week. Had a lot of work and dead lines to catch but it all went well and I met most of them. I was trying to catch my breath through out the week and working very hard, trying to expand my tutoring business, working on my translation business and focusing on my full time job. When it finally hit me why am I doing all this??
And the question just hit like thunder what reason do I have to get out of bed, to look forward to my coming day, to excel in work to be better and I didn’t know. It was a big question mark starring at me and I am starring at it right back. What do I do in my life? And the answer was dull four-letter word WORK.

Is this what life supposed to be about? Work. I miss my life, my passion, my dreams, my look forward actions. I miss my own feelings.

Bottom line I am empty and I am tired.

Your heart is not open so I must go

The spell has been broken? I loved you so

Freedom comes when you learn to let go

Creation comes when you learn to say no

Walk away

You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress you had to burn

Pain is a warning that something's wrong

I pray to God that it won't be long

Walk away

There's nothing left to try

There's no place left to hide

There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open so I must go

The spell has been broken? I loved you so

You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress

There's nothing left to try

There's no place left to hide

There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

There's nothing left to lose

There's no more heart to bruise

There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye

I yearn to say good-bye

Madonna - The Power Of Goodbye

INTERVIEWS 101..

2006-03-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

For those of who you do not know, I am working in a full time job that is considered one of my few goods things in life, but since I like to keep busy I am always on the look for part time jobs which gives me little free time. I heard that one of the magazines that I used to write in during my collage years are hiring part time editors and that most of the work can be done at home and be send to the magazine via email, PEACHY. So I expressed my wishes to some people there and voila I had an interview.
I went there feeling confident that I will be accepted after all it was my old place where I was an angry teenager who wanted to express herself through an appropriate channel available and they were there. I went there got my CV with all the necessary information they need to know related to the job. I went up to meet the manager and that was when the real action began.

It is worth to mention that I didn’t quiet get along with her back in my golden days, I always had new ideas and she always said “NO” not that I didn’t take no for an answer but the answer was always the same “Magazine regulations” I wanted explanations, whys, alternatives, I didn’t want to hear someone saying you can not do it and that was that.

–Anyway I thought that was in the past, she must have forgotten all about it- here is how it went..
I sat there waiting for 25 minutes and finally entered:

Me: Good Afternoon.
She: Well we are way passed noon.. –It was 3.25-
Me: Okay Good Evening.
She: We are not evening yet.
Me: -Controlling my temper- Okay.
She: -Looking at my CV- Long time no see.
Me: Yeah that is life..
She: I have seen you haven’t done much since you were with us.
Me: I have done a few things..
She: Oh I can see that, finished collage with a B grade.. Your writing skills must have improved to get a B-grade.
Me: -Forcing a smile on my face- No, it is pretty much the same..
She: Tell me about yourself.
Me: In quiet few minutes I told her about my accomplishments and how I think that I have the necessary skills for the job as I know how things are and I am used to deal with teenagers and all.
She: I do not think you can fill in the position.
Me: And why is that??
She: We do not want that attitude here again.
….
I will spare you the rest of the interview but I have to tell you it got from bad to worse. She explained that my attitude problem can cause a lot of troubles for the younger writers, well this lady has not seen me in three years I am going to work via email and she is talking to me like I am corruptor to young minds.
What happened to managers these days, do they need tailored minds that are specially designed to do things their way or take the high way. To tell you the truth I was pissed. Why shouldn’t we express ourselves, it will bring diversity and a lot of new ideas rather than having a brain freeze and repeating ourselves and going around in thier shoes..
I do not know about you but if managers kept looking for these qualities I am afraid we will be all out of business.

I know what you are all saying so I will say it for you..

DUH..

A little mambo jumbo

2006-03-19T02:55:00.000-08:00

Well, today is my day off, a lot of things to be done and places to go. Was not in the mood today but I guess I am too busy to notice. I stumbled over a great blog lately and read a post so filled with hope in spite being very down to earth, Thanks for that Will. I do intend to check your blog regularly.

I am sitting here listening to my favourite artist nowaday which is Howie Day. Great voice so soft and makes you think not sure if that is what I need right now.. ButI will think anyway ;)
Anyway this is a lyrics by my favorite local band it really describes best how I feel.. God, Let this time of my life end in peace and most importantly with me in one piece

CHANGE

I walk in silence
I speak only to myself alone

I break from pressure
To pressure again and again on my own

I pierce the surface
I'm weak, but that's just because I'm alone

I dream of freedom
But that's as close as I will ever get

I close my eyes and breathe again
I try to breathe again
I try but nothing's coming in
And everything is going dim
It's all sinking in
I'm looking back and all I see
All I see in me
Is nothing but insanity
And insecurity
I wish I had another chance
To change everything

I bleed from anger
I cry tears of blood so sad and true
I wish that I can
Still hold you and wash away the pain I knew

Well,

2006-03-17T21:46:00.000-08:00

the week is finally over ending one of the most irritating and repulsive weeks in my life.

Woof, I just am drained and would like to have some rest. But my head is still spinning have an important meeting on Monday that will determine a lot of things and I don’t want to accept anyone's help.

Nothing is free is the slogan everyone is using and I hate to think of the repay. I do not want to owe anyone nor voluntarily want to put my hand under their teeth to bite whenever the hell they felt like it. I will handle things and probably things will be okay but I don’t know. You say you don’t want anything in return but you do... You want something that could change the feeling you feel inside, something that could peel off the rust and show the metal as bright as it was..

But things change and we have to live with them, don’t we??

Hope Even in Death..

2006-03-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to tell you about this great cemetery that is built in Nasr city, I have always wondered why the cemetery or the grave yard is often peaceful abroad but morbid here. Yeah it is morbid and usually felled with thieves.

To go visit a loved one you have to pass through this. But this new thing they built is awesome not to mention that it is one of the first joint graveyards for the Muslims and Christians together I have ever seen. A wise person who I truly respect told me when he heard about this "They are living their entire lives side by side so they might as well die side by side" True very true.

We sometimes find hope in the strangest places indeed.

Official bullshit day

2006-03-14T11:23:00.000-08:00

I decided to declare today to be the official bullshit day..
crap, crap, crap

Re-cap

2006-03-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

This is not my first blog.. I lost my first blog or somehow it was taken.. I decided to start another one somehow my previous blog stepped on somebody's toes although it was solely about me.. I am proud of having the reputation of being an egocentric and self centered person and they would not be so far from the truth.

Anyhow.. I am now wondering why are people like that? Why do they have the right to take what it is not rightfully theirs? I mean does it make them feel good about themselves, somehow smarter, or is the cry for help they seek? Man I wouldn’t take a trip down this person's mind even if it was free of charges and totally care free.

I am here and I am starting over..